Seriously you guys…?
Okay.. so the reason i deleted so many posts and put my blog on mute lately is because of the ‘readers’ attack on my ask.fm. People went on saying how ‘untalented’ i am, how i will never achieve any of my goals, they started comparing me to other writers (who i totally adore) and telling me that i will never be like them, they called me ‘A writer wanna-be’, ‘Pathetic attention seeker’, ‘non achiever’, one even called a ‘potato head‘… Huh?
To be honest, and as a very unprofessional writer in the very begging of her journey, i was shocked, and their words really affected me. Some of you might say, ‘it doesn’t affect you until you let it’ which i 100% agree on, but if you think about it, when you wake up every morning reading such words over and over again, it sort of gets in your head, and you slowly start believing it, even though you don’t want to, you do. It is UNCONTROLLABLE, just like the mutant creatures in Despicable Me 2. (Excuse the tacky comparison XD). You hold your pen and notebook, waiting for your thoughts to rush in as usual, you think you will write a master piece (as you may call it), but all the thoughts that rush in are negative ones influenced by what you hear from people over and over again.
I don’t want you guys to get me wrong, i welcome criticism, and i love people who criticize me, because i believe they want to see me improve and become the best i will ever be, but i only welcome it when it is said THE RIGHT WAY, and no… telling me i am ‘the worst wanna-be writer in the history of worst wanna-be writers‘ IS NOT CRITICISM.
I do love posting in my blog, i really do, this is the only place where i can be me, where i can spill my feelings without giving it any second thought. And yes, i do crave perfectionism in my posts, and i wish that they were even near perfect, but i know that they will never be, not because i am the ‘worst wanna-be writer’, but because perfectionism does not exist.
Those aren’t articles for the best selling magazines in the world, they are not to be published in The New Yorker, they are just posts. Some scattered words from a girl that sees writing as her only escape.
And one more thing, when i stopped posting, i also got another attack from people calling me a ‘quitter’. Then i realized that i will never please you guys. So, i decided that from now on, i will post everything i want, whenever i want, AND however i want. If you like it, you do.. and i am very happy and honored, but if you don’t, you don’t have to be mean, just close the tab, and don’t continue reading.
It’s not that hard you know ;p?